


Even Arcturus

by lonely_traveler



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Pre-Relationship, in a quiet way hehe, kind of, listen it's just... soothing, lol, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:47:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28163430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonely_traveler/pseuds/lonely_traveler
Summary: “Even then, Arcturus is still dim…” Kei mumbled to himself unintentionally. Kuroo turned his gaze to his companion, “You must not be used to the stars being so hard to see, huh, Tsukishima-kun.”Or,Kuroo and Tsukishima accidentally meet under the stars and they come to a quiet understanding.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Even Arcturus

It was late. The moon was full, the sky clear, and Tsukishima couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t slept well in three days – since the start of the training camp. The vulnerability of sleeping in a room with so many people was nerve-wracking. He hardly knew these people, let alone did he trust them. Letting out a quiet sigh, he slowly, carefully crept out of his futon and sleeping area, armed with his phone and a cheap pair of earbuds – easy to hide – Tsukishima made his way outside.

_”No use being inside if I’m just going to get caught by breathing too loud,”_ he thought. 

As he exited the building, painstakingly closing the door for thirty-odd seconds to avoid noise, he inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. To his surprise, tears prickled at his nose and ears. He exhaled. _”Breathe”_ , a voice that sounded _very_ similar to Yamaguchi’s rang through his mind. _”Right, breathing.”_

He quickly made his way over to a nearby tree that had a nice patch of grass beneath it. The tears were still there, but he willfully ignored them, taking deep, calming breaths. _“They’re supposed to be calming, anyway,”_ he thought. They weren’t working quite as well as he’d hoped. The tears pushed closer to the edge of his eyes. 

Tsukishima kept breathing that way for a while, head tipped back against the tree trunk, taking slow, deep breaths to the beat of the music playing in his earbuds. Ever so slowly, the panic in his mind and tears in his eyes eased, along with the constricting feeling in his chest. _“Kaboyashi-sensei would be so proud,”_ he thought wryly. His therapist was always encouraging him to engage in what she called “self-soothing”, an important technique to manage his panic attacks, even with his anxiety medication. _”Pills can only do so much,”_ she had said, over and over again until it got through Kei’s skull.

Quietly, he agreed. That didn’t mean he had to be happy about needing any of it – the pills, the technique – it was stupid. _He_ was stupid, for needing it, although Yamaguchi and Kaboyashi-sensei fervently told him otherwise. 

Almost ready to go inside, he took his earbuds out and stood to stretch. A quiet creak sounded from the door being opened just too fast, accompanied by a muttered, “Fuck.”

_”Fuck is right,”_ Kei thought. It was clearly a student based on the sneaking behavior, so Tsukishima wasn’t too worried, but-

His train of thought was interrupted as the student came into view – it was Kuroo-san, from the Nekoma team. Pain-in-the-ass Kuroo-san, Akaashi-san called him. Pain-in-the-ass Kuroo-san who dragged Tsukishima into extra practice, who stood too close when he taught blocking techniques, who spoke too fondly towards someone he had just met (in Tsukishima’s humble opinion). Kuroo quietly closed the door, going slower this time, and immediately headed towards the very tree Tsukishima was half-hidden behind. _”Of course,”_ Kei thought bitterly. He quickly straightened himself, phone and earbuds tucked away and hands firmly in his pockets, and made to head towards the door, fully intending to ignore Kuroo-san and go back to bed (not that he would sleep).

As Kuroo got closer, though- _”He looks exhausted,”_ Kei thought as he floundered just a little. Kuroo had one hand rubbing his eye in a fist, with the other tucked protectively across his torso under his other arm. It projected an almost childlike image onto the captain. Suddenly, Kuroo’s eyes flicked up to the tree then immediately to Tsukishima as he noticed him for the first time. Kuroo’s arms immediately dropped, getting shoved into his pockets, and his mouth moved into a defensive smirk. 

“Tsuk-“

“Don’t, Kuroo-san.” Tsukishima quietly cut him off, curling in on himself almost imperceptibly. He really wasn’t in the mood to be teased, far too tired after staving off a panic attack ( _again_ ). And, despite what the average observer might assume, Kuroo-san was pretty good at respecting hard boundaries. This was one of those, and Kei knew Kuroo could tell, so it was left alone.

Tsukishima also found that he really didn’t like the burdened set of Kuroo-san’s shoulders that the older boy hadn’t quite hidden. Kuroo went silent as he realized the tone of Kei’s voice, smirk quickly dropped from his face, eyes widened and blinking at the blond. A small, real smile – unsettlingly soft, really – crept up onto his face instead. Kei wasn’t quite sure whether this was better or worse than the fake smirk from before. Exposing real emotions was admitting to vulnerability, after all.

Tsukki cleared his throat to break the awkward silence, shoulders hunching just a little further. Kuroo broke from his silent reverie, “Okay, Tsukki, I won’t.” The older plopped down at the base of the tree, patting the ground for Tsukishima to join him.

“Don’t call me that, Kuroo-san,” was the automatic response, even as he took a step away from Kuroo, startled. 

Kuroo continued to pat the ground, “C’mon, Tsukki, I don’t bite.”

To both Tsukishima and Kuroo’s shock, Kei sat down. It was equally unceremonious as Kuroo’s descent. Inside his own head, faintly, Tsukishima could hear his cynical thoughts screaming at him – but as tired as he was, he just couldn’t bring himself to care about seeming too eager, or whatever it was he would usually worry about. Kuroo resumed the childlike pose from before, rubbing his eyes and hugging himself loosely. Tsukishima curled his knees up to his chest and laid his arms and chin on top of them. 

They glanced over at each other, meeting each other’s gaze, and Kuroo chuckled dryly, a sad, tired smile on his face. “So, what’s my favorite kouhai doing out so late? Surely freckles didn’t allow this little excursion?”

Tsukishima snorted derisively, “Don’t call me your kouhai when we’ve only practiced together twice.” As an afterthought, he continued, “And Yamaguchi doesn’t allow anything, he isn’t my mother.”

Kuroo’s eyebrow ticked up in amusement, “Yeah, you waited way too long to say that. ‘s alright, Yak-kun is the resident mom at Nekoma, I get it.” 

Tsukki huffed a small laugh, “Then yeah, Tadashi doesn’t know I’m out here. He wouldn’t be happy,” he admitted with a sigh.

After a beat, “You never answered my question, what has you out here, anyway?” Tsukki saw the topic change for what it was, and he was grateful.  
_”But do I really want to tell him?”_

Kuroo-san was disarmingly easy to talk to, Kei had found. This was also potentially (definitely) influenced by… _other_ factors, but Tsukishima fought to leave that thought unacknowledged. Nonetheless, it was easy to talk to him.

He shrugged finally in response, “Couldn’t sleep.” Definitely a cop-out, but not a lie. Kuroo nodded, knowing full well that wasn’t the whole truth, “Me neither.”

Kei glanced at the older boy, from his worse-than-usual hair to his slouched shoulders and what was truly the dead giveaway, the far too dark circles under his eyes. He just nodded. _”Wow, I’m bad at this,”_ he thought. The un-acknowledged thought was nagging at the back (the front, really) of his mind.

They ended laying in silence next to each other in the grass, staring at the moon and barely-visible stars. Tsukishima couldn’t help but notice that even the bright constellation Boötes could only be identified by the brightest star of the constellation. 

“Even then, Arcturus is still dim…” Kei mumbled to himself unintentionally. Kuroo turned his gaze to his companion, “You must not be used to the stars being so hard to see, huh, Tsukishima-kun.” 

Kei grimaced, “Don’t sound so fatherly, Kuroo-san. And since when do you care about honorifics?” It was defensive, and they both knew it. When all his troubles were boiled down to one pure thought, Tsukishima was homesick, and Kuroo had hit the nail on the head. He missed seeing the stars, he missed knowing exactly where he could find anything he needs, he missed the quiet of the suburbs and countryside, he missed- well, he missed Miyagi. And it was _stupid_ , he knew that – it was only 5 days of training camp. 

Kuroo, of course, took the defensive response in stride, answering honestly, “Didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by being too familiar while we’re out here. Guess I can’t win though, huh?” 

Kei found that he absolutely _hated_ the tone Kuroo-san took on so suddenly. As if he was some sort of – like he was – “Tch, why would _you_ make me uncomfortable, Kuroo-san, don’t be ridiculous.” 

_”…Fuck. Maybe a little too honest.”_

Kuroo’s gaze snapped back to Tsukishima’s, eyes prickling with tears that he hadn’t known were lingering. 

Tsukki noticed the wet glaze to Kuroo’s eyes, his own stinging with tears in response. _”How embarrassing,”_ he thought. He clicked his tongue and looked away with a deep blush. He knew the dark was doing nothing to hide it on his pale skin, too. 

Kuroo swallowed heavily, brushing his hand gently against Tsukishima’s, before cursing himself in his head and quickly taking his hand away. _”Stupid. What am I even doing?”_

Kei turned his head back to Kuroo and purposefully looked down at Kuroo’s hand, back up to his face, and then smiled gently as he grasped his hand in his own. 

Kuroo’s face twitched with a small smile, returning the gentle hold. 

The rest of the training camp went much easier, for the both of them. With each other in their respective peripherals, if not in direct view, it felt easier to breathe. Sure, they both had understanding, loving friends and teammates, but it was different. There was someone else to bear the burden, and fully understand what it was. 

If Tsukishima slowly started visiting Tokyo more, ( _“For Akiteru, Kaa-san”_ ), then no one but Yamaguchi had to know. 

**Author's Note:**

> alsdfkhsdf I have no idea what this is. They're out of character, I am well aware, lmfao. I just want them to be soft together,,, ok,,, is that too much to ask for :'(


End file.
